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G I went down to the Bates Motel C G To give myself a little bit of rest. C G E While I was in the shower, some crazy little faggot A D Came in in his mama's dress. G D G He had a little gray wig, screaming C G With a butcher knife over his head. C G E So I kicked him in the nuts, and as he puked out his guts, A D G I looked at him and I said, G D G "Hey, life ain't like the movies. C G It ain't what you might expect. C G E Sometimes you get the realistic shit A D Instead of the desired dramatic effect. G D G G7 So before you buy your ticket C C7 And settle down in the second row, G D G C G D You better know, life ain't like the movies." G D G I was riding through the magical forest
On my princely milk-white steed.
When I saw a pretty princess lying on a slab
With a lot of little dwarves around her feet.
They said she'd been bewitched, but if you give her a kiss,
You could save her from a magical trance.
So as I bent down to kiss her, she opened one eye
And said, "That'll be twenty bucks in advance!"
She was singing, "Life ain't like the movies.
It ain't what you might expect.
Sometimes you get the realistic shit
Instead of the desired Disney effect.
So before you buy your ticket
And settle down in the second row,
You better know, life ain't like the movies."
So I went to Casablanca,
Bought myself a bar named Rick's.
One night I found my old black piano player
Singing one of my songs to one of my chicks.
I said, "You played it for her, now play it for me, Sam,
I just gotta hear it once more."
He said, "Fuck you, you honky motherfucker!"
He grabbed her and he split out the door.
They were singing, "Life ain't like the movies.
It ain't what you might expect.
Sometimes you get the realistic shit
Instead of the desired Disney effect.
So before you buy your ticket
And settle down in the second row,
You better know, life ain't like the movies."
(Words and music by Shel Silverstein, 1990)
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