DDPro's Website > Bob Gibson Chords > The Man Who Turns the Damn Thing Off and On
G7 C The world's not what it used to be in love or war or industry. G7 We face the harsh reality that this sweet land of liberty now contemplates eternity, G7 Plugged into electricity and programmed by technology for maximum efficiency. G7 For instance, see what happened to me... C D When I went down to the factory, I said, "Hey, you got any job for me?" G F C They said, "Son, the days of the workin' man are dead and gone." C D They said, "The computer now does everything, but there does happen to be one opening G C For the man who'll turn the damn thing off and on." F G C Now I'm the man who turns the damn thing off and on. D G I give it a twist in the evening like this and a little bitty flick at dawn. C D I know I should be overjoyed; I'm the only one in town employed - G C I'm the man who turns the damn thing off and on.
So, feelin' exhausted from my first day's labor, I went home to see my baby.
She was lyin' in bed with a smile on her face, and I heard a buzzin' sound.
She said, "I don't need no mortal men; this vibrator now does the work of ten,
But since you're so in love with me, I'll let you stick around
And be the man who turns the damn thing off and on.
I give it a twist in the evening like this and a little bitty flick at dawn.
I know I should be gratified - she lets me lie here by her side
And be the man who turns the damn thing off and on!
Well, I just got a call from Washington; they said, "Son, heard of the job you've done
With the dildo and computer, so we're askin' you ter save the world from doom.
You can put your feet on this Pentagon desk, you can eat, sleep, read, watch TV or rest,
But keep your finger on this little red button in case you gotta make it go boom,
"'Cause you're the man who turns the damn thing off and on.
You give it a push just one time, son, and your job is done!"
So I'm eatin' fried chicken and watchin' TV, my fingers all covered with gravy and grease.
G C A7
I'm the man who turns the damn - Oops! I'm sorry about that!
D7 G C - F - C - G - C
I'm the man who turns the damn thing off and on!
(Words and music by Shel Silverstein, new verse by Bob Gibson, 1991)
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